Over the last two weeks, I’ve become somewhat of a recluse – tucking myself into the corner of my living room couch hunched over Neil Strauss’ latest book. Aptly named ‘The Truth – An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships’, Neil candidly discusses the breakdown of his relationship and the transformational journey of self discovery he’s been propelled into. This got me thinking; what is it that causes a relationship to break down?
Of course, this isn’t the right forum to discuss what erodes the relationships with the ones we love. Customer relationships, on the other hand, share many of the same triggers as our personal relationships. The other thing customer relationships share with their personal counterparts is that, much to our detriment, they tend to be taken for granted over time.
To understand why we take those we grow closest to for granted, we have to ask ourselves what purpose is served by this seemingly negative human trait. Thankfully, Aaron Ben-Zeév – a Professor of Philosophy at the University of Haifa – asked himself the same question. Professor Ben-Zeév says that ‘from an evolutionary point of view, it’s advantageous to focus attention and resources on changes rather than on stable stimuli whose nature we can take for granted.’
That means you and I are hardwired to become aloof towards any form of stasis in our lives – what a cruel joke! Fortunately for us, knowing this trait isn’t necessarily important for our survival, we can look for ways to train ourselves out of this caveman state and into a more nurturing, fulfilling mindset.
As with any form of self improvement, we must identify what’s wrong before we can remedy it. So if you’re guilty of committing at least one of the following behaviours that are responsible for turning off loyal customers, you can (but probably shouldn’t) take solace in that fact you’re not alone:
A lack of understanding
In any relationship, if you don’t feel heard, you’re going never going to feel understood. And that’s a problem. When my favourite restaurant stopped selling their incredible corned-beef sandwich, I was shocked. Why would they remove such a popular item? I called the waiter over and asked her. She shrugged and said ‘The chef likes to change the menu up, sorry’ before shuffling off. ‘Hang on, what about me?!’ I selfishly thought. The chef cares more about himself than his customers? That surely wasn’t the case. Whatever the reason was, the waiter did not care about my broken heart and empty stomach. The only thing that was full when I left was my wallet.
A lack of communication
I’ve rented my whole adult life and I’m still yet to find a property manager who effectively manages my lease. A few months back, and a month before I was due to fly overseas for a friend’s wedding, I had cleaned the house in anticipation of an upcoming rent inspection. The day came and went, only this time my property manager didn’t leave her card on the counter. It turns out she couldn’t make it that day but would come the next. Again, I returned home to find my bare counter void of property manager cards. A day later I received an email saying she got caught up and would come the following week. Being the eager-to-please person that I am, I put her needs before my own and acquiesced. A week later – still no card. Naturally, she apologised and assured me it would happen the next day. Fed up with trying to keep a spot-free kitchen I told her she has lost her chance and can wait until the next calendar rent inspection.
A lack of trust
Customers want (need) to receive or feel something from you in order to stay loyal. They want to know you appreciate their custom – that you’re aware of how easy it would be for them to go elsewhere, but instead they chose you. My local gardener is a glowing beacon of appreciation. After attending two jobs, he realised how difficult it was for our schedules to match up and thus pay him the moment he finished the job. Instead he offered to swing by another day to collect the cash. He gave me his trust and in exchange I gave him my money – and my future business.
The tragedy of the human condition is the raw clarity we’re afforded after we lose something. We see in crystal clear detail every instance we could have strengthened a relationship, yet instead chose to do the opposite because it was our default setting.
If you want to keep your customers loyal, you must be willing to step outside of your comfort zone, command every ounce of attention you have and direct it like a laser towards your customer. Whether that means spending an extra 5 minutes speaking (and connecting) with them, committing a few minutes a day to skills training, or implementing a formal customer feedback system, every little bit is worth it in the long run.
– Lachy
